Your Mind Won’t Let You Be Happy, Unless You Catch This

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Here’s how your mind tricks you.

Imagine everyone is running on a treadmill. Millions of people in rows, some sprinting, some jogging, some are slouched over the rails taking a break. But all of them still on the machine. Everyone is trying to get somewhere, trying to achieve something.

The people running the fastest are the ones you think are getting the furthest ahead.

As you look around, there is always someone running faster, so your mind convinces you that you need to speed up. You need to be doing more. When you get comfortable at a certain speed, the mind turns to you and says, “Let’s push it. Let’s go faster.” It tells you that the finish line is in sight, and that you just need to work a bit harder to get there. There are certain speeds on the treadmill that feel like big achievements. Maybe you are running on setting 10 right now, and your mind says once you get to setting 15, then you have really made it. Then when you get to 15, suddenly 16 seems important. You feel like maybe, just maybe, peace is at the next checkpoint.

Yet there is no way to max out this treadmill, the numbers just keep going up.

And no matter how fast you go, your mind will convince you that you just need to go a little bit faster.

The Mind That Always Wants More

I’ve been thinking about this because I’ve caught myself doing it again.

Walking my dog Ronnie in the morning, trying to be present, trying to enjoy the calm of the early light — and my mind is racing ahead. Listing out the things I need to do. Plotting out the steps to some future moment where I’ll finally be able to relax. Always one task away from peace. One more win from being enough.

I’ve played this game for years. In poker, it showed up as the next stake. Once I reached that level, I told myself, then I could relax. But the moment I got there, the mind switched scripts.

"Well, now you need to make more money. You’re still not there yet."

And so the treadmill sped up. In the gym, I’d hit a big PB and feel incredible for about 10 minutes. Then I’d find myself planning the next 12-week cycle to hit the next number. No time to enjoy the moment. The next one always seemed more important.

More recently in padel, something I started just for fun, I've felt the pull. I began competing, telling myself I’d be happy once I started winning intermediate events. And I did. But the mind didn’t celebrate. It didn’t slow down. It instantly said, “Good start. Now let’s aim higher. You haven’t done anything yet.”

That’s the trick of the mind:

It doesn’t know how to arrive, it only knows how to chase.

No moment is ever enough. No victory ever complete. The mind can’t be satisfied.

Why Most People Are Out of Balance

Now to be clear, on some level I like this part of me.

The part that wants to grow, test myself and improve. But there’s a balance to be found. Because if I'm not careful, that inner drive becomes a source of tension. The subtle anxiety that creeps in when I believe peace only exists after I’ve achieved the next thing.

Most people are out of balance in one of two ways.

Either they chase the future so hard that they miss the present completely. Living in an almost constant state of tension and call it ambition.

Or they go the other way, they avoid the discomfort of growth and settle into passive distractions. They check out, scroll their phones, numb themselves with substances and tell themselves they’re being present when really they’re just avoiding life.

Neither path leads to freedom.

Seeing The Minds Trick

What I’ve come to see more clearly is that the mind’s pattern doesn’t change. It will always say, “Just a bit more.” And if you believe it, you’ll keep running. But if you can see the pattern for what it is, as a trick or an illusion, you can stop getting pulled in by it.

That’s freedom.

It doesn’t mean I’ve shut the voice off. I haven’t. The mind still tries to sell me the same story. But now, more often than not, I can smile at it. I can notice it, hear it, and choose not to buy in. I don’t believe that anything special will happen in the future that will finally make me feel complete. I’ve stopped waiting to arrive.

Ironically, that’s when life feels the most enjoyable — when I’m not chasing something. When I’m just doing the thing for the sake of it. Training because I love training. Writing because I enjoy the process. Competing because it’s fun to test myself. Not because I think I’ll finally feel like I’m enough when I hit some external milestone.

How to Catch the Mind in the Act

If you’re still caught in it, try playing the mind at its own game.

Let’s say your mind says you’ll finally be happy once you have $100,000 in the bank. Don’t dismiss it, take it seriously. Ask yourself why that number matters. Journal on it. Push it. Then go out and earn it. Work your ass off. Get to the place the mind says will bring peace. And when you get there, pay close attention to what happens.

Because what usually happens is this: the mind moves the goalpost.

This happens so quickly that you might miss it. It will say, “Actually, $100k isn’t that much these days. We need $1 million to really feel safe. Then we’ll relax.” And just like that, you’re back on the treadmill. It’s subtle. It makes sense. It even feels logical. Your friends and family will nod along when you explain it.

But you’ll never arrive. Even if you do, the mind will switch its attention to keeping what you’ve got. The fear of loss replaces the thrill of gain. And the treadmill keeps moving.

You may have to play this game a few times to see it clearly.

Career. Fitness. Business. Relationships. Each time, the mind promises peace just around the corner. And when you get there, it promises it again, just a little further down the road.

Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

He’s right. You don’t see the trick until you’ve played it through. You don’t see the lie until you’ve arrived and found nothing waiting for you.

The goal isn’t to silence your mind, but to disbelieve it's urgency.

That’s the shift. From chasing to seeing. From striving to choosing.

Stepping Off the Treadmill

The mind is like a machine.

Built to chase. Built to seek. Built to solve problems.

You don’t have to fix the mind, you just need to see what it’s doing.

Once you realise there is no finish line, the race loses its grip on you.

You see everyone around you running as fast as they can, trying to get somewhere.

And you smile.

You become one of those rare people who steps off the treadmill.

You can still run if you want. You can still compete, grow, build, pursue.

But now it’s on your terms. Not the mind’s.

You might come back to the treadmill and run for a while.

Then you return to relaxing and enjoying yourself.

Because now you know what the game is and you play it for fun when you want.

There is no finish line. There never was.

And you were free the whole time.

Adam