Why You Always Feel Rushed (Even When You Don’t Need To)

Yesterday, I spoke with a poker player who told me he felt constantly rushed.

The strange part? He’d just had a big win.

He thought the extra money would give him some breathing room, but it didn’t.

He still felt like he was falling behind every time he lost a session.

When I asked what he was rushing toward, he told me his big goal: buying a house.

As a poker player, that’s not simple. Banks don’t like lending money to professional gamblers, which means most have to buy outright. A daunting goal.

So I asked him, “Over what timeframe do you want to buy it?”

He said, “Five years.”

That caught me off guard. I was expecting him to say six months, maybe a year.

But five years? Why the constant panic?

Something wasn’t adding up.

So I probed deeper. “Do you feel like you are on track to be able to buy a house in 5 years if you keep going at your current pace?”

He paused. “I have no idea.”

Bingo!

He hadn’t planned out how much he would need for the house, or whether what he was saving now was enough.

It wasn’t the size of the goal that made him anxious, it was the uncertainty.

Maybe you’ve felt that too.

That restless energy.

Like no matter how much you’re doing, it’s never quite enough.

The hidden pattern behind feeling rushed

I gave him an analogy.

Imagine someone sprinting down the street, panic in their eyes. You stop them and ask, “Why are you in such a rush?” They reply, “I need to get somewhere fast. I don't know if I'm going fast enough so I better speed up.” Then they keep running.

Would you be surprised that this person felt rushed? Of course not.

That’s what happens when we set a goal without a clear plan. The mind interprets the unknown as a threat. Neuroscience tells us that uncertainty lights up the brain’s threat systems. In other words, when you don’t know if you’re on track, your body prepares for danger.

And so you default to doing more. To moving faster. To filling the gap with urgency.

But what if the problem isn’t speed — it’s clarity?

When deadlines become a trap

I’ve fallen into this same trap many times.

When I began playing poker professionally, I told myself I’d be financially secure in a few years. It took six.

When I started writing my first book, I told myself it would be finished in six months. It took two years just to complete the first draft.

When I took up powerlifting, I thought I’d hit certain numbers within twelve months. Three years later, I’m still chasing some of them.

The deadlines weren’t useless. They stopped me procrastinating and they gave me focus. But they also created unnecessary stress.

Because the truth is, most big goals don’t unfold on the neat timelines we invent.

Yet the mind clings to those deadlines like they’re life or death.

What I’ve learnt from years of rushing

Here’s what I’ve come to realise:

For most goals, the exact timeline doesn’t matter.

What I find is that my mind likes to pick a date that sounds good, and then convinces me that I have to hit it.

If I fall behind, I feel anxious. I push harder. And the more I push, the more rushed I feel.

Looking back, I’ve found a few lessons that help ease that pressure that you might find helpful.

Clarity kills anxiety

That poker player wasn’t anxious because his goal was too big. He was anxious because he had no plan. As soon as you know the pace you need, the panic softens. I’ve felt the same whenever I’ve put numbers to a goal I was worried about, suddenly it feels manageable.

Deadlines aren’t set in stone

When I first got into powerlifting, I set a timeline for myself. I thought I’d hit a 250kg deadlift within a year. Twelve months came and went, and I was nowhere close. At first it felt like I’d fallen short, but looking back, I realised my body just needed more time. Strength isn’t built on the clock, it’s built on consistent reps over years. Most meaningful goals are the same.

Focus on what you control

I can’t dictate when my book gets published, or how quickly my lifts go up, but I can show up to write each day. I can keep training, even when progress feels slow. That shift back to behaviours and attitude, is what keeps me on track.

Feeling rushed is feedback

These days, when I notice that panicky urge to do more, I treat it like a signal. It’s usually telling me I don’t know if I’m on pace. Instead of running faster, I pause, reflect, and ask what clarity is missing.

Now let’s go back to the poker player I was speaking about earlier.

I told him to stop trying to outrun the uncertainty. To sketch out a simple plan: how much he’d need, how much to save each year, and whether his current pace would get him there.

With that clarity, the urgency would soften.

He could still push, but from a place of direction rather than panic.

And if it was going to take him 6 years instead of 5 years to get there, did it really matter?

He could either work harder to get there quicker or accept that it might take a bit longer.

And the same applies to you.

If you feel rushed right now, ask yourself: Do I actually have a plan, or am I just running faster to calm the uncertainty?

Take one of your big goals and put a rough roadmap together.

Not perfect, just enough to know you’re moving in the right direction.

Then allow the timeline to stretch if it needs to.

A calmer way forward

You don’t need to sprint blindly.

You don’t need to exhaust yourself trying to outrun uncertainty.

Make a plan, focus on what you can do today, and allow the bigger picture to unfold in its own time.

Life doesn’t reward speed.

It rewards presence, persistence, and the courage to keep going — even if it takes longer than you thought.

So I’ll leave you with this: Where in your life do you feel rushed right now?

And what would happen if you gave yourself a little more clarity, and a little more time?

This is a lesson I need to remind myself of as much as anyone.

Adam