How Your Actions Shape Your Identity (Day 27)

You don’t rise to the level of your goals.

You fall to the strength of your identity.

All meaningful change starts with identity.

Not the kind of identity you talk about in a journal. Not the version you write down in your goals.

The kind you act out. Moment by moment. Rep by rep.

Because identity isn’t something you decide. It’s something you reinforce.

And the loop runs deeper than most people realise.

So what exactly is identity?

Your identity is the default character you’ve been playing.

It’s the internal story that says, "This is who I am."

You didn’t consciously choose it. It was shaped over time — through your conditioning, your habits, your experiences, your and repeated thoughts. The more you lived it, the more it felt real.

You acted like a certain type of person, and that became your baseline. Your beliefs, your emotions, your expectations about life and yourself — all formed around this identity.

It’s not fixed. But it is sticky.

Because every time you live it out, you reinforce it.

One loop at a time.

The Loop of the “Current You”

Here’s how it plays out:

You believe you’re bad with money. That creates beliefs in the form of thoughts like, "I’ll never have enough" and emotions like anxiety or shame. Those emotions lead to avoiding your bank account or overspending to feel better. The action confirms your reality. And the story gets stronger.

You say, "See, this is just who I am."

But it’s not who you are, it’s just who you’ve been.

The Fantasy of Reinvention

When people decide to change, they picture this:

It feels clean. Like flipping a switch.

You decide: "I’m going to be someone who eats healthy, works out, and has discipline."

And you expect that decision to come with motivation, excitement, and instant follow-through.

But that’s not how it works.

Because even though you’ve set a new vision, your old wiring doesn’t disappear overnight.

The beliefs are still there. "I always fall off track." "I’m not the kind of person who sticks with it."

The emotions still show up. Resistance. Doubt. Shame.

The old self still wants to run the show.

The Reality of Change

This what change actually looks like.

You decide who you want to become. But now you’re in a tug-of-war.

Your new identity is a fragile idea. Your old self is a practiced habit.

So each moment becomes a battleground.

Do I act from the old story? Or the new one?

This is where most people give up. They think the resistance means they’re failing. That the doubt means the new self isn’t real.

But the resistance isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign you’re on the edge of growth.

The Story of The Two Wolves

There’s a parable I love about two wolves.

A grandfather tells his grandson:

"Inside me are two wolves. One is full of fear, laziness, doubt. The other is full of courage, discipline, and love."

"Which one wins?" the boy asks.

The grandfather replies: "The one I feed."

That’s identity in motion.

In each moment, one of you will show up. The old self, built on comfort and repetition. Or the new self, built on vision and choice.

You feed one by the action you take.

Identity Is Earned

The new you doesn’t become real the moment you decide.

It becomes real every time you show up as them.

In the beginning, it feels like a lie. You don’t believe it yet. You’re acting without conviction. But the action still counts.

I remember when I started to shift my relationship with money.

Up until my early twenties, I was always broke. That was my identity. I never saved, I avoided looking at my finances and I always seemed to spend more than I made. I just assumed I wasn’t "good with money."

As In started to make more money playing poker, I thought this problem would go away. But it didn't. No matter how much I made, I never had anything to show for it. This frustrated the hell out of me and I decided I was going to learn how to save some money.

So I made one decision: I set up a standing order to take £100 a month out of my main account and move it to a savings account.

That was it. Simple. Unemotional.

At the end of the year, I had £1200. Without thinking about it. Suddenly, a tiny voice inside me whispered: "Maybe I’m not bad with money after all." As I barely noticed the money coming out, over the coming months I decided to double the amount I was saving, then tripled it. I opened an investment account. I started reading books. I learned about simple investment strategies and how compound interest worked.

Each action fed the new identity. And over time, I started to believe it.

I wasn’t pretending to be good with money.

I was taking the actions that someone who was good with money would take, until it became who I was.

Your Health and Fitness Identity

Let’s say someone’s identity is: "I’ve always been overweight. I don’t have discipline. I can’t stick to a routine."

That identity creates beliefs like: "What’s the point? I’ll just fall off again."

Which creates emotions like frustration, guilt, and helplessness.

So they skip the gym. They eat to feel better. And they prove the story true.

But one day, they decide to change.

They imagine this clean version of themselves who just loves working out, eats healthy, and feels motivated.

But they wake up the next morning and feel like the same person.

Here’s the truth: they are.

The old identity is still there. But now they have the opportunity to override it.

They put their shoes on and go to the gym anyway.They choose a healthy meal even though it feels awkward.They finish the week and realise they’re still showing up.

Each of those actions is a rep.Each one chips away at the old identity.

Each one feeds the new one.

Until one day, the new identity feels normal.

How To Make Real Change

Identity is not something you declare. It’s something you demonstrate.

Not once. But over and over again.

Every moment is a fork in the road. Do I feed the old self, or the new one?

The thoughts and emotions may not line up yet. That’s okay.

Let your actions lead.

Feed the version of you that you want to become.

Rep by rep.

Until one day, you don’t have to think about it.

It becomes who you are.

Adam